Leadership and anxiety are not mutually exclusive. I know because I lived both — simultaneously — for over a decade.
For those who know me well, you know I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic attacks for most of my adult life. I’m sharing this not because it’s comfortable, but because if there’s someone out there who thinks mental health challenges disqualify them from building a meaningful career or leading at a high level — I want you to know that’s not true. It nearly wasn’t true for me, but I found my way through. And it’s worth talking about.
Where It Started
I was twenty years old, driving home late from a long shift as a Store Director at Hollywood Video. I was tired, and a thought crept in: What if I forgot how to drive?
In that moment, I experienced the most intense terror of my life. I pulled over on the side of a highway going 80 miles an hour, called friends and family, and took back roads all the way home. It took me nearly ten years before I drove on a highway again.
That was my first full panic attack — what Google describes as a sudden episode of intense fear based on a perceived threat rather than actual danger. What I didn’t know then was that it was the beginning of a long, complicated relationship with anxiety that would shape everything about how I moved through the world.
Leadership and Anxiety: What That Actually Looked Like
Shortly after, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Everyday activities became a minefield. I couldn’t drive on highways or over bridges. I couldn’t take escalators or elevators. I couldn’t fly. To get between floors at the mall, I’d leave the building and walk around the outside.
All of this was happening while I was trying to build a career. I had moved from Hollywood Video into a General Manager role at PetSmart — a two-hour commute each way just to avoid highways and bridges. The anxiety followed me into the workplace itself. Panic attacks started showing up in meetings, in interviews, on conference calls. I needed a manager to sit in on interviews with me in case I had an episode mid-conversation. That happened regularly.
I want to be direct about something: leadership and anxiety at this level is not a minor inconvenience. It is genuinely debilitating. And pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone who is in the middle of it right now.
Ten Years In — And Then Everything Changed
After a decade of therapists, medications, and treatments that didn’t stick, I had pretty much lost hope. I’d made peace with the idea that panic was just going to be part of my life permanently. That’s when I met my wife, Jessica.
Jessica is the kind of person who doesn’t let you spiral without saying something. When panic hit, she’d look at me and say, “It’s normal to be afraid. I get nervous on the highway too. That’s just being human.” Something about the way she normalized it — without dismissing it — started to shift something for me.
She convinced me to try therapy again, this time with a therapist whose approach was rooted in positive psychotherapy. It was hard to be that vulnerable. But it was necessary. She taught me breathing techniques for the worst moments. They worked. She taught me to meditate. That worked too. The right medication finally worked. For the first time in years, I started to get better.
According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, Generalized Anxiety Disorder affects millions of working adults — and the majority never seek treatment. If any of this sounds familiar, help exists and it works.
What Getting Better Actually Looked Like
I drove on a highway again. Then over a bridge. Then to the airport. I flew to Phoenix. To Puerto Rico. To Belize. I drove from Atlanta to New York City.
At work, the change was just as real. I could speak to audiences without dreading what my brain might do mid-sentence. I stopped needing backup in the room. I could focus. I stopped limiting myself geographically, which opened up an opportunity in Atlanta — forty miles from home, a completely different kind of role, and the door out of corporate retail that I’d needed for years.
That move changed the trajectory of everything. Leadership and anxiety don’t have to cancel each other out. I’m living proof of that.
It’s Not a Clean Story
I still have panic attacks. Escalators still give me trouble. There are days that are harder than others.
The difference is that they no longer control my life. I’ve learned how to meet them, move through them, and keep going. My wife still won’t let me spiral — and I’m grateful for that every single day.
If you’re navigating leadership and anxiety right now, here’s what I’d tell you: find your help. Seek out the right resources. Don’t give up after the first thing doesn’t work, or the second. It took me ten years to find what worked — but it existed. It exists for you too.
My grandfather used to repeat a Vince Lombardi quote to me: “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” That’s still true. In leadership and in life.
If you’re carrying this kind of weight while also trying to lead a business, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Read about how I think about protecting what matters most as a leader — or book a free fit call if you want to talk.